My sweet friend Joyce said I have to post this story I told her, Brenda & Cheryl about my dog Dino, who you all know by now, eats everything.
I will tell you the floss demise story first, then move onto Pinkadoodle.
I was wishing dear Brenda a happy birthday by phone on Sunday when I realize Dino, aka eater of everything, was VERY quiet - that's a VERY scary thing. So I round the corner into the living room & see his head pop up out of my floss box....hanging out of his mouth - Crescent Colors Frozen Margarita
Now, my dog is black, so seeing this bright beautiful green floss hanging out of his mouth down to the floor was comical and enraging at the same time. So I say "Bren, hold on a minute my dog got my floss - my HAND DYED FLOSS" Bren utters "uh oh" & put down the phone. Dino knows that when he has something he's not supposed to eat he can outrun us by running circles around the dining room table. How do you stop an 80 pound dog running in circles unless there are 2 people around? Answer: you don't. It usually takes 2 of us to stop him. Eventually I got him cornered by tempting him with food....he'll do anything for food. He stops dead in his tracks with half of the skein on the floor & the other half down his throat and all I could see was one thread length of about 6 inches hanging out of his mouth. I reach down his throat & pulled out as much as I could & threw everything away....and yes, his poop was riddled with green. All the while dear friend Bren is on hold & I almost forgot about her in the excitement. I get on to explain what happened & am totally exasperated with Dino but that it's my own fault for leaving the floss box open as he thinks of it as his personal treasure trove of treats.
On to Pinkadoodle. Again, dear friends Joyce, Brenda and Cheryl RAK'd me with this: Puffy Palzzzz bear whom they lovingly dubbed "Pinkadoodle" - Isn't he adorable??? I personally think he's a boy & have gotten several arguments from those who won't be mentioned, but to me, he looks like a pink boy. So I shared this story with them & I hope you all get a chuckle out of it...I am laughing now but was NOT laughing at the time.....Dino strikes again:
(Ant is my fiance, short for Anthony)
Jen: (in the bathroom reading cause she needed peace & quiet)
Ant: (Yelling at top of his lungs) "Hey - what the fuck are you doing? That's mommy's! Give me that damn it!"
Jen: (Yelling at top of her lungs from the throne) "WHAT? What did Cam do?"
Ant: "Not Cam! Dino! Dino got your pink bear"
Jen: (has already wiped & flying off the seat, washes hands while yelling) "What the fuck! Did he eat him? Did he damage him?"
Ant: (Yelling from bedroom) "Him? This pink bear is a boy? He's not a boy, he's pink. Pink bears are not boys, they're girls"
Jen: (rushing out of the bathroom after washing & spraying Glade Relaxing Moments Cool Serenity spray - side note from author: that stuff smells amazing) "If he damaged Pinkadoodle I'm gonna fuck him up. Well i won't really fuck him up but I'm going to spank him"
Ant: "Pinkadoodle? You named a pink bear that's a boy fucking Pinkadoodle?"
Jen: "Not 'FUCKING' Pinkadoodle; just Pinkadoodle"
Cam: "Hey what happened? Did I hear you say Dino got Mom's Pinkadoodle that her friends got her?" (Yes my son is the type that adds lots of detail like me hehehe)
Ant: "Seriously? 'Pinkadoodle' - that pink bear is a girl. And Dino got a bit of his ear."
Jen: "AARRGGHHH"
Cam: "Oh no!"
Jen: "Dino I am going to KILL you, you little Fucker! Get off my bed & gimme my bear!"
Ant: "You know you can't leave anything on the bed or in his reach cause he'll eat it."
Jen gives Ant the "fuck you" stare. Dog runs away and after careful inspection I realize Pinkadoodle has sustained minor damage to his left ear to wit: some fur was eaten, Dino's poop was sprinkled with pink particles. After all the commotion I heard Ant say to Cam "Mom is silly thinking that bear is a boy & her friends & her naming it Pinkadoodle"
10 comments:
Ohhhh my. LOVED this story!!! I have to say it's good to hear that someone cusses like me at home! I may be fairly prim and proper on my blog, but oh boy, listen to me at home! I would have been just as mad at Dino!!!
LOL, I loved both stories. Sorry your bear got damaged, and sorry your floss got eaten. Maybe you could put a muzzle on him, lol. (That's just a joke. I would never advise you to muzzle your dog all the time.) Good luck with him! (He would have eaten everything I own. I'm not nearly that careful.)
LMAO!!!! TOO FUNNY FOR WORDS!! ROFLLLL!!!
Hi
Great story!
Too funny! Have a happy IHSW! x
Thank you Ladies. It really IS entertaining most days with Dino. I really should post a pic of him so you get the face with the stories. He's so adorable....but some days I feel like screaming "To the moon Dino, to the MOON!" LOL
Julie, he DOES eat everything in the house & it's a constant struggle to keep him out of the trash & other places. He loves eating tissue so out kleenex boxes have to be put our of reach. The trash in the bathroom has to be constantly emptied or he'll eat all of it. Sheesh! The vet says he's normal & some dogs just have an obsession with eating everything. But trust me there ARE days I'd like to muzzle his mouth LOL though we never would.
LOL! Animals are worse then children sometimes. Glad Pinkadoodle sustained minimum damage. I love the name and I agree it is a boy.
Thanks for sharing this story!
You came by my blog and asked if I was going to be stitching on the spiritdancer for the IHSW and Yes I will be.
I am adding your blog to my reading list.
O M G !! What a funny story - I actually laughed out loud, while trying to shield the screen w my body so my kids wouldnt see all the "blue" language! Love the stories!!
lol! what a fun time! I'll be giggling all day. Thanks
Hahaha I had to tell that story to my Boyfriend who loves dogs. Must be such a pain to have one that eats everything. I had a cat like that once. His name was Garfield.
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